I lost my sht after a customer told me I was an a$$ for asking to see an id for their purchase. I called them a btch and told them to get the f*ck out. I am tired of these entitled aholes coming into the shop thinking they can treat ppl like crap bc they’re buying something. AITA?
I don’t subscribe to the outdated “customer is always right” mantra, but it’s generally bad practice to insult customers regardless of their behavior. State your requirements for purchasing, and if they don’t want to comply and/or become hostile, politely and professionally provide them with the opportunity to leave. This way you never need to worry about being perceived as an asshole by other customers.
💯 I may have scared one of the other customers. 😓
You’re not an asshole, you might have some temper issues though. You might also not be a great fit to run a business.
💯 Very true. Diagnosed with ptsd from growing up in an abusive household. May have to start up therapy again to get a hold of the anger issues. Before, I would just seethe and stay quiet trying to be the “bigger person”, but I’m sure there is a healthy middle ground.
There is never a good time to call a customer names. Always keep it professional, always. If you don’t want to do business with someone, politely inform them. Don’t let someone else control your emotions. You stand to lose much more than they do.
Very true. I have a hard time with that. Going to look into getting some help to get a better handle on my anger.
Yeah, you didn’t help your business because she is going provided free marketing for you via word-of-mouth.
You could have said, “Just doing my Job”
I’d probably have a big visual Sign at the point of sale that states ID may be required…and then just blame it on the management (you) and shrug it off together, complete the transaction.
I get the attitude of customers but brick and mortar stores require a certain level of customer service and professionalism even if it’s one sided. This is why e commerce is so appealing.
Good luck. Stay cool, you got this.
Thanks for the advice. I don’t have a sign posted. Will do first thing monday am!
I can see why someone would get to that point 100% but also you shouldn’t do that 100%. It’s maybe a skill you should try to improve, keeping calm in those situations. We can always learn from our mistakes.
Yes, definitely. 20/20 in hindsight. I grew up in an abusive household and diagnosed with ptsd. When a stranger cursed at me I got triggered before I even could control it.
I hear that! My dad was so abusive that any behavior like this activated my “fight” response, too. Took me years to overcome, but overcome it I did.
Sometimes you have to fire a customer. Maybe you let your emotions get the better of you within the moment but if this is an isolated incident, learn from it and move on. I fired a customer recently and felt awful about it initially because I could have handled it better. Now, a few weeks removed, I feel great about it because I never have to see this entitled person again and my staff is happier knowing they won’t be abused by her anymore and that I have their back when someone is treating them with disrespect.
Agree and relate 100%.
Ok… is it typical to need an ID to make a purchase at your business? Do you apply this rule fairly to everyone? People don’t just jump to calling people assholes over SOP bullshit. So what happened before that?
Yes, we ID anyone making a non pin verified purchase. Even our regulars. I tried to keep my cool for the first minutes, but she kept dodging showing her ID. She used excuses like “I forgot my ID and I’m just traveling through.” “I’m a flight attendant. I come here every couple months. I would never steal” and my fav. one “I’m Chinese” as if race has anything to do with it. I kept telling her that we check for non pin verified purchases and she called me an ass and I said “seriously?” and she said “Yea, well you are.” At first I told her to get out (without cursing) and she refused to. That’s when all hell broke loose and I called her a b and told her to gtfo.
It’s extremely ironic that she’s a flight attendant and put up this much of a fight against a reasonable request.
Personally, I think you were totally in the right. Some people need to learn that they can’t be a jerk to customer-facing workers without consequences. Hopefully none of your other customers saw the interaction, but honestly i wouldn’t have blamed you if i watched it happen while waiting to check out.
Do you have signs posted at the register that say “ID required for credit card purchases” or something similar?
Right? That’s what I thought. I would imagine flight attendants are all about following rules and procedures. 🤷 I don’t have a sign and another poster had mentioned that I should put one up too which is a great idea. Going to on Monday morning. I feel like I have so many signs tho🙈
Instead of calling her a b-word, you should have called the police once she refused to leave.
Definitely need some INFO here.
We ID all credit purchases if the purchase is not a pin verified transaction.
Yes. In what universe are you not an asshole for calling someone a bitxh? Even if she was an asshole first, you were an asshole, too.
The worst part is you proved her right.
agree. Definitely could have handled the situation better. sigh
Are you the Marvels director?!
And this is why I left customer service 😃
Lucky! Stay far away 🥲 Do not recommend.
Yeah you’re the ahole. Just because someone is a jerk doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be one too. In this case you don’t even know if they were being a jerk or if they’re just uneducated. If they don’t provide the ID and it’s a requirement for the sale, then don’t sell the item ask them to leave the store be polite don’t ever take it too far you did. If that was one of your employees you would fire them, so fire yourself and get away from the counter for a while.
But i definitely could have handled the situation at the moment and very well may be an AH
I did try for a while to explain to her that all purchases that are not pin verified require an id. She kept dodging showing her id and said things like “Well i’m a flight attendant. I wouldn’t steal”. I said “well i’m sure you have airline policies that you follow and i’m just following store procedure here.” Then at one point she said “Well I’m Chinese” and again I told her we ID anyone that is paying without a pin verified transaction. I guess she thought I would slide on the policy bc of her race? 🥴
Definitely sounds like a scammer to me, using multiple tactics to manipulate you into caving. She probably has lots of experience rattling people’s cages to get her way. I’m not surprised someone with your background (as you described elsewhere) snapped.
Everything just felt off from the moment she walked in. She seems like the type that’s used to getting her way. Either way, I’m glad we didn’t go through with the purchase and hopefully the experience will keep her away.
She was clearly going to scan you, somehow. Calling you an ass just adds insult to injury.
I always use their words on them, so they can’t complain about me using a word without me being able to say “you called me that first, I was just returning your compliment to you!”
Lol using their language back at them is a good tactic. It wasn’t a large purchase so my first instinct wasn’t that she was trying to scam, but it really was strange how defensive she got. After interacting with so many different people at the shop, I definitely do get “vibes” or whatever you want to call it and something was really off about her. Another thing is, if she is a flight attendant like she said and was just traveling through, wouldn’t she have to have an id? How is she going to get through TSA? Was so weird and hope I never have to see her again.
There are ways to professionally tell somone one to fuck off without outright calling them names. Live and learn.
I just want to say, you’re “non-defensiveness” to the people calling you out here tells me you’re generally a good, in control person, and that you just got triggered in this one moment.
Being abused can really stay with you for a long time, and I’m glad you mentioned therapy. It can help you unravel the places where our survival mechanisms kick in.
NOT the AßHole.
Thanks. I really do think of myself as mostly even tempered. I can contain myself in most instances, but my tolerance at getting verbally abused or harassed is way short and I get tunnel vision and react even before I can rationalize what’s happening. I saw in another reply you have experience growing up in an abusive household too and were able to overcome the anger issues. Glad you’re in a good place and thank for sharing. Is there something that worked better for you to overcome the anger? When I was going to therapy I had the opposite problem, which was I just held all emotion in and never showed anything, never said anything and it seems now it’s the opposite.
RIP your Yelp reviews, but just know you’re my hero. Soooo many clients I’d like to tell exactly what I think of them.
😆 This is the first thing I thought when the lady left. Thanks for the comment and making me lol. I definitely could have handled the situation better, but i’m hoping this would make her think twice before cursing at retail workers in the future.
It sounds like you merely answered them with the same demeanor and vocabulary they brought to the conversation. NTA, but you would have been better served by not escalating to their level.
It’s good to set firm boundaries regarding how you let people treat you and your staff and it’s good to refuse to be bullied into violating laws and policies. Sometimes enforcing good boundaries means you have to firmly instruct a person to leave the business, but it’s better not to call them names when you do so.
Thanks. Will definitely try and omit the curse words in the future.
LMAO. you were right. As someone who has been stung by the beer police if I was in line I’d give a supportive “hell yeah”