I do agree. Boiler plate responses take little time to email, show that you received the email and prevent “did you receive my email” follow up.

I made this same mistake as a theatre producer. Thought I had genuine friends, they were just friendly with me to get roles or their projects done.

Never become friends with employees, or hire friends.

I think a frank discussion is in order. Show him the math (use the actual formula for figuring it out on paper).

Ask him what the real reason for this request is, and point it all out with compassion and genuine curiosity. You can navigate this into a real teaching moment.

Show him a path to earn more by improvement.

If he’s insistent, let him know you expect a two week notice if he decides to leave, and that there will be no hard feelings.

Side question: were they dating BEFORE they came to work there? Are there guides on fraternization? Can SHE cause any problems (access private info, cause you trouble, etc.). Think about the fact that denying him may make HER resentful (she may be the impetus for the request in the first place).

Might be too labor intensive, but buying glass ornaments at Michaels with a 50% off coupon and then gussying them up a little bit might sell well

I just want to say, you’re “non-defensiveness” to the people calling you out here tells me you’re generally a good, in control person, and that you just got triggered in this one moment.

Being abused can really stay with you for a long time, and I’m glad you mentioned therapy. It can help you unravel the places where our survival mechanisms kick in.

NOT the AßHole.

I hear that! My dad was so abusive that any behavior like this activated my “fight” response, too. Took me years to overcome, but overcome it I did.

She was clearly going to scan you, somehow. Calling you an ass just adds insult to injury.

I always use their words on them, so they can’t complain about me using a word without me being able to say “you called me that first, I was just returning your compliment to you!”

That’s a kind spin to put on their behavior. It’s nice to see someone trying to find the good!

1. don’t insult them. Even a passive aggressive jab isn’t needed, because you won’t teach them anything and the smarter ones will get pissed off.

2. In the future, don’t even consider doing breakdowns like this. Like someone said, “that’s not a service we offer.” I suppose you could charge for the breakdown itself, but why bother?

3. I like the responses that give no wiggle room for customer power plays. Polite, non-ingratiating, direct. “I’m sorry, but we’ve just booked X projects and won’t be able to help.”

4. Don’t suggest anyone else. Not worth your time. If they ask for a recommendation, just say something non-committal and get them off the phone/computer as soon as possible.

Some people just need to be jerks.

I’m the type for snappy comeback, so I would have just said “I can afford a temporary reduction of the base price as a gift to my wonderful customers. But I can’t afford to drop the price across the board for everything. Any dimwir could figure this out, but I’m glad I could help you!”

I would consider a written policy change for everyone. It may help this person to straighten out and fly right, or at least document why you should not pay them unemployment when you fire them.

Get everyone to sign the new policy change, stick to it, and when this person inevitably transgresses it, document it. Have a very clear path to termination, so that as this user trips their way merrily toward it, you can document every single time that you’ve had to have a meeting with them.

When termination becomes inevitable, and they apply for unemployment, which they inevitably will because they will think it’s unfair that you fired them, you have clear documentation why they don’t deserve it.