So I’m gonna be posting this on the acrylic painting subreddit and the small business one, because I have a small business in creating acrylic painting pieces for my Etsy shop. So, I sell my original acrylic paintings on Etsy. I do all different kinds, whatever speaks to me that day I guess, from landscapes, to cartoons, to festive art. And sometimes my family offers to buy one, or suggests I do a specific painting for them. Almost every single time I’ve done it for a family member, they’ve lowballed me.

For example, I created a very intricate piece for my father of a snowy scene, a church in the background, a truck driving by, trees everywhere, and tons of tiny little details that he SPECIFICALLY asked for. This is the biggest, and most detailed piece I’ve ever done for somebody, and it’s a commission. So I put my all into this piece, it took me 3-4 days and lots of material. When I messaged him and told him the piece was finished and sent him a photo he immediately called me. His words were something along the lines of, “Hi hunny, just let me know how much you’re charging me for it, I know you won’t charge me out my ass because I’m your dad.” And then continues on with “How much do you usually charge for your paintings?” That’s when I began telling him how it depends, because it’s my biggest canvas, (not huge but still my biggest canvas at 11x14.) has lots of little detail, and it took me 4 days. He then replied asking me if “40-45 dollars is good.” No, that’s not good. For what I’ve created, I would ask a random stranger for around 65-70. & My father is not the only family member to do so. It’s so extremely hard for me to sell to my family when this is what they do everytime. They somehow make me feel bad for charging what I believe my time, material, effort, and money is worth. And it fucking sucks. Am I alone?

  • FlimsyNegotiation@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I mean… have you told them this? Tell them how much it’ll cost before you do it, and if they say no then you don’t do it. It sucks, but that’s how it is.

  • LastoftheAnalog@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    This always grinds my gears. I’m soooo sick of people who “know” me thinking that means they can also exploit me.

    Asking for a freebie or steep discount isn’t supporting me or my small business. Thanks but no thanks, dad!

  • vulcangod08@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Throw out a ballpark when they ask. Just say that that’s probably going to be $xxx for what you want. Does that work?

    If they balk, politely tell them you could use cheaper materials, maybe finger paints and Playdoh and save them a couple of bucks if they can’t afford your one of a kind masterpieces.

  • KingSlayerKat@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    There is no such thing as a “family and friends discount” for me. They either come to me to support me and pay my prices, or they go to someone else to get a better price. I always pay my family and friends a little extra to do work for me if I can afford it, and I never pay less than they would ask a stranger. That’s just the decent thing to do.

    You need to start explaining to people that this is your job, and you have to charge them accordingly. If they have a problem with it, that’s their problem. You don’t owe anyone any favors. Unless you’re doing something special for a special event, your family are just customers that you happen to be related to.

    Also, always discuss price beforehand and get a deposit. Even for family, they’re honestly the most notorious for backing out after your done because they know that you’re not going to go after them if they don’t pay.

  • Imgonnaarrive@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    What’s funny is when running a business, side hustle, or anything of the sort, family and friends should be the last people getting a discount! If they really cared about your talent and efforts they’d pay more and then some for supporting a friend or family member. But alas, the people closest are also the ones who are the most likely to try and take advantage.

  • TriStarRaider@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I use the Jerry Maguire method of dealing with friends and family with regards to this.

    “This ain’t show-friends, this is show business”

  • Significant-Repair42@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    You need to give them a quote before you start work.

    I think that you are undercharging at 70 for an original composition. If you are looking at Etsy as a price guide, keep in mind that many people undercharge there for original art.

    “I do all different kinds, whatever speaks to me that day I guess, from landscapes, to cartoons, to festive art.”

    O.o I don’t think your family appreciates how talented you are. :)

  • theykilledken@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Yeah, that won’t really work well. An important part of any successful negotiation is knowing your floor and being willing to walk away if it’s not met. Some clients are simply too greedy to waste time on. That doesn’t really work if they are family and walking away is impossible. Focus on your other clients and don’t expect much from the family.

  • Human_Ad_7045@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    You can always count on family to try to get your product or service at a discount or even free.

    You’re lucky he actually offered to pay you something.

  • DeathIsThePunchline@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I’m not trying to be a dick here but anything that takes 4 days and you only get $70 for is a hobby.

    US fed Minimum wage = $7.2/h

    $7.2/h * 8h/day * 4 days = $230.40 PLUS materials.

    If I were trying to price something like that it would be $800-900 for the time plus materials.

    That’s without me knowing the skill level involved. If people won’t pay $800-900+ materials then it’s not a visible business.

  • BrunoGerace@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Tell your dad it’s his birthday/Christmas present and write it off as a learning opportunity.

    No more repeats!

    In future, negotiate the price up front.

    Taking advantage of artists is enraging.

    Good luck.

  • retire-early@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    My policy has been “it’s full price or it’s free.”

    Don’t discount. Give it to them and invoice it as full price, marked down with a 100% family rdiscount. Or charge full price.

    They’ll value a $400 art piece they got for free much more than the same piece that they argued you down to $40 on.

  • justinstigator@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Hey! Not sure how long you’ve been in business, but every decent and honest small business owner goes through what I think you’re going through. They severely undercharge for their work in general, and as a result, attract clients that are only willing to pay low-end prices.

    A family member asking for 25% off is not the end of the world - but it certainly is when you are charging $70 for four days of labour, materials included.

    People will often pay “premium” prices simply because they have a psychological inclination to believe that price is a reflection of quality, even in industries where that is absolutely not the case.

    Assuming your product really is good, and you really do take care, you need to have the confidence to charge appropriately. You are currently taking wages equivalent to what one would expect to make working in a factory in a poor country.

  • DropsTheMic@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Parents will always see their kids as kids, even when they are 40. They’re thinking “I’ll be nice and give this kid some money for his doodle and put it in the fridge.” They don’t respect your profession as a valid career path and this is a passive aggressive way of telling you that.

  • Accomplished-Cow3956@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    My best piece of advise is, don’t sell to your family. Doing business, I find complete strangers to be more supportive and willing to pay for my services than any friend or family member. Not a single friend has used my services, NOT A SINGLE ONE. But I’ve made great friendships with customers