I’m an emotional/empathetic (and perhaps doormat) person and owner, and I have an employee that I think I have to fire. They’ve taken 4.5 months off this calendar year (that I’ve said yes to, covered for, found coverage for). I’ve said yes because I wanted to give them that time and figured it would come back around. But it hasn’t. It’s also so stressful for me to cover these shifts.

Some advice I’ve gotten that’s helpful:

  • Your behavior sets the expectation for everyone around as to what’s allowable and ok. If there’s an example they can point to of you doing something then it’s ok to do always.
  • The mentality is that the employees on their best day will be only as good as you are on your worst day.
  • You need to treat the employee with care and respect even when they don’t treat you that way. Don’t let other people’s actions dictate your behavior.

I think I am doing all of these things, but it’s so frustrating that this person has no sense that just because I can cover their shifts doesn’t mean it doesn’t burden me and others. It’s a well paying job if done full time, like $75k year. I already cut their hours in half to part time because I could not physically work extra hours. It wouldn’t be so bad if they expressed any interest in reciprocation of covering shifts. I’ve asked and been rebuffed many times.

I did set a policy of not allowing more than 24 days off after the initial issue, but because we hired a new person to help them out (issues at another business and they needed a job fast), problem employee immediately capitalized on it and asked for more vacay even knowing this policy. I again, said yes, my bad.

Now that person I hired I like better. They have higher tickets, know more about the product, are a better employee while also being skilled in the way the other employee is. They also have an acute sense of how much time off is fair. They’re just vibing the industry we work in a lot better.

I’m sure the advice will be something like “it’s hard, but just fire them.” Am I misinterpreting something? Should I have done something different like say no to their vacation requests just because I don’t want to? We’re so small, like 2 front facing people, coverage is me or basically no one. How do I handle this inevitable conversation? I have actually never fired anyone before because we’ve had so few employees in our time with this business. I know it’s stupid, but if anyone has any resources on the structure of the conversation I need to have with problem employee. I’d appreciate it.

  • ThatCanadianGuy88@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    say no to their vacation requests

    100%. You need to set the boundaries from the off. 4 1/2 months off? None of us here should have to tell you how silly allowing that much time off is.

    Your also way over thinking how this has to happen. Especially as they have been unreliable and walking all over you.

  • cassiuswright@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    Don’t think of it in the context of firing one guy. Think of it as sustaining the entire rest of your team. You are doing this for them.

  • Halloween2022@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    I would consider a written policy change for everyone. It may help this person to straighten out and fly right, or at least document why you should not pay them unemployment when you fire them.

    Get everyone to sign the new policy change, stick to it, and when this person inevitably transgresses it, document it. Have a very clear path to termination, so that as this user trips their way merrily toward it, you can document every single time that you’ve had to have a meeting with them.

    When termination becomes inevitable, and they apply for unemployment, which they inevitably will because they will think it’s unfair that you fired them, you have clear documentation why they don’t deserve it.

  • Chill_stfu@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    I’ve definitely been there.

    You can’t fire them for something you gave them permission to do. You have been a doormat and that’s your fault, not theirs. We’ve all been door mats at some point, then we resent the person, and that’s not good leadership.

    Here’s what I would do, and it’s similar to what I’ve done in the past:

    Update the time off policy and include how many days, how those days are given, and how far in advance it must be made. Require notes for illnesses. If you don’t believe them, follow up with the office the note came from. (I had an employee write fake obituaries for their sister then dad.) Then have a face to face conversation explaining the new policy, and what will happen if the policy is broken. Have it in writing, and stick to it. Stick. To. It.

    Also consider having production and quality minimums for the position. If they generate as much revenue as you want and want with good quality, you can allow more time off.