So like the title says, I have creative ideas and always try to include my wife in discussions, but all she ever brings to the table is problems and negativity when we discuss things. She thinks she’s being “pragmatic” but it’s tremendously disheartening and the problems she imagines are always the absolute worst of the worst case scenarios. Everything I’ve ever read or watched when it comes to starting businesses is, just start and figure out the problems later. I’m well aware of the potential for difficulties in any endeavor, but tend to believe in myself and my ability to adapt and overcome. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you find middle ground, if at all?
Yeah, I’m on this side of the issue. How strong is your relationship, really? It’s not a pleasant thing to contemplate or hear, but starting and growing a new business is usually hell on relationships, and if your relationship is marginal or weak already, it may be better to decide and act on that now.
Divorce or unhappiness in a marriage is the dominant case (>50% for divorce, probably more like >75% when you factor in how many marriages are net unhappy), so real talk, with a base rate that high, most people are not currently in a relationship that is net positive and net happy and that will last. The rate of divorce when one partner is an entrepreneur is higher already, and highest still when undergoing the stress to start and grow a new business.
Given that context, seriously evaluate if she’s the right person to be your partner as you go forward, because it’s going to get 10x harder and more stressful for both of you if you actually put in the work and successfully grow your business, and if she’s fighting you already, it’s going to be five times harder to put in the work to succeed along the way.
And if your current relationship is weak in any way, the odds are that the cumulative years of greater stress will break you up anyways.
If you believe that is likely to be the case, much better to do it now before more success and more money, and then you’ll also be able to put in longer hours to grow the biz without being harassed and nagged and stressed about it.