You’re no loser. To me it sounds like the opinion of your family means a lot to you (which I get) but them reacting the way they do, kinda weighs down on your own self worth. Because of that you feel like you’re not doing enough. I’m the exact same. I’m 30 and I don’t even make close as much money as you. Still I have my small art business I’m very proud of and I taught everything myself. My family doesn’t get that either. What i did is to stop telling them about it. Stop telling them about my successes or my failures. When they ask me I just say it goes well. That’s it. It prevents getting their negative Input that im sensitive to.

If you have enough money to do what you like If you enjoy your work And if you have the freedom others can only dream of, then you’ve already achieved more than you might think. And you’re very young. You’ve got so much waiting for you, just let it unfold and don’t force things. Life’s not supposed to be hard af and draining. That’s just the system teaching us.

I’ve been a freelance artist since 2017 and this year was also absolute shit. I could barely afford food. And where I used to make 2k a month, I ended up with 500-700 Euro almost every month this year.

Don’t give up. Continue doing it if you enjoy it. I know it can be hard af and demotivating. But this year has been difficult for many companies. No idea what kind of planetary constellation or whatever caused it.

You can continue doing the coaching and maybe work a few hours somewhere everyday. Not e full time job but something that puts food on the table, just as long as needed.

On another note, if people here told you, yes give up and you actually feel like you don’t want to, you’d already have your answer.

Curse and a blessing, though more a curse. People with half your knowledge and talent are 2 steps ahead because you’re still contemplating which color looks better on your homepage.

As far as I know, perfectionism develops as a kid, when your caregivers give you the feeling that whatever you do, it’s not good enough or that you always have to do more than others.