No offense but if your company could IPO, you would have IBanks chasing you and you wouldn’t; need to post on reddit.

this is too long. try the following.

We have a new way to discover cancer medications (explain new way in maybe 4-5 words). It will reduce time to discover medicines by oxy (or whatever metric). This has been validated by xyz. We are going to save 20 millions lives in a global 60 billion market (or whatever the number is).

If you are around for a 15 minute, I would love to show this to you because (he has exit or investment or whatever, you are trying to show you did your due diligence on him). We can also continue this over email.

Keep it short. Keep it direct, keep it simple.

first of all, no round should dilute you more than 20% at most. so 45% is out the picture. Give him a commission for bringing clients. Secondly, being a stepchild is not a fucking qualification or a skill. It’s probably your investor feeding him that shit going by him wanting 45%.