So after a long time for working part time on my start-up we have assembled a team and it looks like we’re finally about to secure investment funding (it’s medtech so we can’t really do much engineering or manufacturing without funds for materials and salaries).

While we were doing this, I was continuing with a day job which I don’t love but it pays the bills. My problem is the job isn’t something from the front page of r/antiwork: my colleagues and my boss are very kind and supportive and because things aren’t certain on the funding yet I haven’t handed in my notice and I don’t intend to until I’m sure that I’ll be moving to working in the startup full time.

But I’m in something of a leadership/project management position in my current job and in team meetings my boss will often say how much she’s going to be relying on me next year. There were also some interpersonal issues a few months ago that made me feel uncomfortable and, without me asking, my boss really went to bat for me and did her best to make sure I had a comfortable working environment. The reason she did this was because she “really values my work and doesn’t want to lose me”.

So the whole time she’s going to bat for me and saying how much she appreciates me, I’m quietly thinking to myself that in a month or two, if things go well, I’ll be leaving. And with the deadline on our current project looming, there definitely won’t be enough time to get someone else trained to get things over the line.

I’m really passionate about the start up and I can’t not take a chance on it but I feel so guilty leaving my team short staffed. Has anyone else dealt with this? What is the best thing to do to not feel so guilty?

  • blackkettle@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    There’s know way to know the inside of your managers head but from the way you describe them they sound very decent. I would like to think I’m a similar kind of manager and have definitely gone to bat for my people in similar ways - but I always make that they know I will support what’s best for them. I had a similarly valued employee leave under similar circumstances about 6 months ago. Because I’d always told them I’d support what is best for their career they felt comfortable coming to me to tell me about a new opportunity to pursue a PhD and I although I was sorry to lose them I was very very happy to see them advance, and also grateful that they had felt comfortable enough to tell me months ahead of time when they still weren’t sure.

    Again I can’t say how your boss will react, but if it was me I would just be happy that you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Going to bat for you should not be something that implies you owe them. If that’s ultimately the way they see their own behavior “you owe me for that” then unfortunately you’re still probably better off leaving.

    If you talk to them openly they also might be able to offer some solid positive insights from a longer experience.