For reference, I own a small manufacturing business with just two employees, aside from myself: one part-time and one full-time.
The full-time employee tells me once a month that he can’t find any motivation, slipping into a deeply depressive state. He takes many days off, and when he does come in, he listens to extremely sad music and asks to be left alone.
This pattern occurs about once a month. Each time, I try to be as empathetic as possible, asking what I can do to make his life easier. He insists it’s not the workload. When I inquire about what’s bothering him, he repeatedly says he doesn’t know. I’ve had the other employee help him with his workload, but he expressed a preference to work alone. He used to make decisions independently but now constantly seeks my approval.
I offered to hire more staff, but he insisted against it, claiming he could handle it all. Yet, his work quality repeatedly falters. I notice him becoming distant, especially when we receive large orders, leading to his unmotivated states and absences.
He clearly has some social anxiety and struggles with problem-solving. When he’s well, he’s outstanding. My empathy has shifted to sympathy and is now bordering on resentment and anger.
About myself: I strive to be the opposite of all the bad bosses I’ve had in the past. I’m caring, I listen, and I’m flexible with days off, including mental health days. I buy lunch, pay well, and give raises every six months unsolicited, providing feedback on his strengths and areas for improvement. I encourage him to be confident and value his input. If he has a strenuous week, I sometimes give a bonus of $100-$200 as thanks for his hard work.
I’m at a loss. He’s resistant to hiring additional help, likely due to his anxiety. Yet, for my business to grow, I need a strong, dependable team.
Any suggestions?
I used to be like you, and it’s a mistake. Employees tend to confuse kindness with exploitable weakness. Not all, but usually so.
That employee is in debt vs you. Whatever home problems, it’s their duty to solve them.
They are not performing normally and putting a strain on you as well. Hire more and tell them to clean their act. If not, fire them .
Side note employees will appreciate more a strong grip where you can be reasonable in important situations, rather than having a relaxed permanent situation where they become too used to it.
We are a predatory species. That is our normal. So they will take advantage of all they can get, deserved or not. Just like kids always test our limits like parents. keep that in mind. Your kindness be there, but not apparently.